Server Fun

1.You know that in the weeds is not a camping term
2.You can't decide who you hate more: kids, old people, teenagers, or foreigners
3.You're pissed if you got a $10 tip on a $60 check
4.You can figure out 20% like nobody's business
5.You heavily debate putting on gratuity for a big party.
And may call in a second opinion to evaluate
6.You're familiar with the SIGNATURE cocktail: water with lemon
7.You don't have any idea what the special is and could care less
8. When you go out to eat, you over analyze everything your server does.
And even if they mess up you leave at least 20%
9.You hang out at the "server" table
10. You know about all your co-workers sex lives and drug habits.
11. You know what the most dreaded side work is and how to avoid getting stuck with it
12.Same goes for the death section
13. You understand the importance of booths
14. You know that an over cooked steak is the worst re-cook EVER
15. You want to kill the kitchen when they have 30 min.
ticket times
16.You will take the long way around just to avoid your table
17.You hate making desserts
18.You get weeded waiting forever for the bar to pour you a freakin beer
19.You live out of your car
20.You always have cash on you, yet you're always broke
21.Your cash is usually still in your book days after you worked
22.You know who sells the good drugs
23.You never know what happened to the wine key
24.You become a nocturnal creature
25.Everybody on a Sunday AM shift has a hangover
26.The busser is never around when you need him
27.Getting cut does not equal getting out
28.You need a manager card to do anything!!!
29.A mess up is always appreciated by the starving servers
30.And you're all a bunch of vultures when it happens!
31.When in doubt-you go with medium
32. You use the term 86 in regular conversation.
Yet you have no idea where it actually came from

For all of you who DON'T wait tables... If you go out to eat, or plan to EVER again... HOW TO TIP!!

Easy tip: take 10% of the total price of the ticket and then double it.